The Everlasting Pursuit of Happiness: Lessons Learned Along the Way

 

Bas ye kaam acche se ho jaaye, phir to chill hai! ("I'll be at peace once I finish this task!).

How many times have you found yourself thinking on similar lines? Ahh let me guess. Most of you find yourself in this situation quite often, isn't it? Well, don't worry folks, you've got some company :). This feeling is too familiar to me. There have been many times in my life when I've been under a lot of stress and pressure, neglecting my own needs in the process. I've stayed up late into the night, working on projects and tasks, my face showing telltale signs of exhaustion. "Prachi? What's new in this? This is a very common thing these days. Aren't you aware about hustle culture xD? Forget about hustle culture, this is actually something that every college student goes through. Not a biggie!"

Hahaha Guys! Guys! CALM DOWN! Of course, I'm a college student. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here spilling my thoughts in this blog when ideally I should be preparing for my finance test which is in the first week of April. (To all the high schoolers out there, just wait until you get to college and realize the true meaning of procrastination lmao)

Lesson 1: Happiness is not a variable that depends on external factors. It is an internal emotion that comes from within. Tying happiness to materialistic things can never lead to lasting happiness.

Well, jokes apart! Let's get back to the topic at hand. Have you ever wondered why so many of us feel dissatisfied with our lives? The answer is simple: we tie our happiness to material possessions. We think, "if only I had more money, I'd be happy" or "if only I had a Mercedes, I'd be content." But the truth is, these things will not bring us true happiness. Once we obtain them, we will just crave for more and more, and if we cannot get them, we will be unhappy. This is the vicious cycle of never-ending dissatisfaction. It's a never ending chase because in this way, we'll never be satisfied, because there will always be something else that we think we need in order to be happy.

For instance, while I was working for my applications for graduate school, I remember having a mindset that till the time I don't get an admit, I wont be able to keep my mind stress free. Here, I had attached my happiness to the outcome of my application process. Despite working so hard and having restless nights, drafting SOP(s) and coordinating with my professors for my LoR(s), I was not able to enjoy the process. And do you think I got everlasting happiness after I got acceptances from majority of the schools I applied to? Hahaha absolutely not. Though I was on cloud nine when I saw positive outcomes on most of my applications, yet my happiness was short-lived. I found myself worrying about something else the very other day. It's easy to get caught up in this cycle of stress and worry, always putting off our happiness for some future moment when everything is perfect. But what we don't realize is that life can never be perfect. There is always a trade-off. You can't have everything at once.

The key to find true happiness is to look within ourselves, and cultivate a sense of contentment and gratitude for what we already have. And here's when the concept of little things come into play. Happiness is about appreciating learning to appreciate the simple things in life, like spending time with our loved ones (this also includes sending memes to your close ones when you have got nothing to talk about :P), enjoying nature, appreciating the flora and fauna in your surroundings and pursuing your passions. These things might seem small, but they have the potential to release us from the cycle of eternal dissatisfaction and finding true happiness that actually lasts.  

Lesson 2: If happiness seems elusive, don't worry! You can always create it yourself. You have the power to manufacture your own happiness, both within yourself and in the world around you.

There is a fair chance that even if you don't fancy material possessions, you are still not at peace. You are not feeling contented. Don't worry, you are not alone in this. Even i have went through this feeling at some point and I know exactly how it feels. It feels as if you don't know what's wrong with you, you want to enjoy but for some unknown reason you are not able to. Fret not! Every problem has a solution.( my inner math major has risen lol) and this also have one. If you are not able to find happiness anywhere, create it ;). We all have heard that necessity is the mother all inventions. So invent your happiness. No one's stopping you! :) .

The very first step to create happiness is to be self aware. Know your likes, dislikes etc. Once you are aware that what kind of person you are, try to engage in activities that make you happy. Surround yourself with positive people. Being around happy people will raise your own mood and No! you are not being selfish. By being happy, you'll also give back something to the people around you. 

Try to step out of your comfort zone. Explore new places, try different cuisines, and experiment with new experiences. Don't limit yourself and allow yourself to experience all that life has to offer.

Let's take my situation, for example. After 1.5 years of online college, DU finally decided to reopen all its constituent colleges on 16 Feb 2022. Naturally I was excited because I had big plans for exploring the beautiful capital, in my college days and now when DU gave a green signal, I couldn't be more happier. However, things didn't go as expected.  Despite having good friends, we weren't able to coordinate and come-up with a plan to visit nearby places. Initially I felt disappointed and downhearted. I used to cry a lot in front of my parents expressing my frustration that I wasn't able to do what all I had planned. But then my parents gave me a reality check and said - " It's your problem. If your friends can't go with you, why can't you explore Delhi on your own? Come on beta, you've been living here since 16 years and this is the least that you can do!"

And trust me when I say that the moment they said this, I realized that  my happiness was my responsibility and if I was unable to find it anywhere, I should create it.  So I decided to step out of my comfort zone and started going on solo trips to famous places in the capital. And trust me I have never looked back. This incredible experience made me more confident and gave me a sense of fulfillment and contentment that I had never experienced before.

Lesson 3: Comparing your journey with someone else's is like comparing apples with oranges. We all have unique capabilities and our own individual paths to follow. It's important to never make the mistake of comparing our journey with others because it can lead to unnecessary stress, disappointment, and ultimately hinder our progress.

Let's be honest,  how many of us have experienced an existential crisis while scrolling through LinkedIn? Hahaha, most of us right? There's no shame in accepting it. I have been there too. Every other day, we come across posts of people who seem to have it all figured out, from landing a prestigious job to getting into Ivy- League institutions for pursuing their higher education. While we may feel happy for them and even leave a celebratory comments, but deep down we start to doubt ourselves. Thoughts like "Am i good enough? " or "What will I do in my life?" start to creep in our mind.

Trust me, this is natural. But at the same time, it is harmful. You don't realize is that everyone has got a different journey. While healthy competition can be motivating, we usually tend to take things too far and get consumed by the success of others. We start to take stress and and lose sight of the joy in our own journey, which leads to procrastination and a lack of focus. It's very important to appreciate our own path and trust the process. We should believe in our abilities and have faith in ourselves. If you don't then even the simplest tasks can become unsurmountable.

For instance, when during my pre-final year of undergraduate studies, I saw many of my school-coaching friends bagging prestigious internships, I used to doubt whether I did the right thing by choosing Mathematics & Economics over Computer Science Engineering. However, as I reflect back on my journey, I am confident that I made the right choice and that everything happened for a reason. When I did not perform up to my expectations in JEE, I somehow lost confidence on myself. Eventually I realized that this was actually not something I enjoyed doing. I ended up getting decent colleges but also discovered my interests and passions during that time. That was the turning point of my life as I realized that I was always inclined towards social sciences and mathematics and that's when I decided to pursue my Bachelors in Mathematics along with a minor in Economics. 

And fast forward to now, everything is going well because I never stopped believing in myself. There were times when even people whom I thought to be my close ones, started ignoring me just because of this decision of mine, but I had faith in my abilities and that has carried me through this degree. I stopped comparing my achievements with those of my friends and started appreciating of what all I had achieved in my life since making that decision. No matter how big or small that achievement is, it was mine and it reflected my hard work and dedication.

Therefore, never ever lose faith on yourself and always believe that you can achieve it and you are halfway there! Above all, be happy, as happiness is the key to success.

"Uff Prachi! Yaar kitna zyaada likh diya lol"

Hahaha, sorry guys :P. Don't worry we are at the conclusion already :)

Lastly, I'd say that happiness is not a destination that we reach once we have everything that we once desired to have. It's an emotion that comes from within, and of course we have the power to create it ourselves. Always remember happiness is a journey to be enjoyed, not a goal to be achieved. :)